Crank It Up To 11
"My name is Chev Chelios, and today is the day I die"
Now this gem is out on DVD I thought it got the fair hearing it deserves. It’s a bit hard to know where to start with ‘Crank’ as I’m not sure I’ve ever really seen a film quite like it, but the formula seems to be ‘take all the elements of a B movie action film and crank them up to 11’. Lets look at some of the evidence.
Exhibit A: The name Chev Chelios. A character surely conceived as a Hispanic gang-banger before true Brit Statham landed the role. You may question why the filmmakers didn’t bother to change it, but why the hell should they? It’s a totally ridiculous, but it works. In fact it may just be the best name ever. I’m even tempted to get my name changed by deed pole.
Exhibit B: The plot. Chelios (Statham) is an assassin working for a West Coast crime syndicate. Due to the nature of his work, Chelios has made a few enemies, and none more than a hombre called Verona (played by Jose Pablo Cantillo in a style so exuberant that could out booya the Booya Tribe) who breaks into his house to inject him whilst he’s out cold with ‘The Beijing Cocktail’, a deadly poison that will kill him the second his heart rate drops below a certain point. The rest of the film is dedicated to Chelios keeping his heart rate up (more on this shortly) whilst haring across LA to settle scores before he checks out. Just another day in the office, right?
Exhibit C: Keeping that heart rate up. These start off in a pretty run of the mill way. Running, driving fast, trying to get hold of adrenaline from a chemist etc, but quickly escalate. Starting a fight with a biker gang, stealing a policeman’s motorcycle (and then taunting him with it), nosing up coke off the floor, and boning his girlfriend (Amy Smart – hot) in the middle of Chinatown in front of an ever-growing crowd. But my favourite, holding a medical team with a defibrillator at gunpoint and demanding, “juice me!” This sort of thing happens to me every day, but I can appreciate that for the average punter this may seem a bit over the top.
I could go on, but I won’t, needless to say I was genuinely surprised how much I liked this film. What I wasn’t surprised to find out was that it was made by two guys who cut their teeth making music promos, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, as it’s as slick and stylish as it is high octane. It also has some pretty brave moments for a debut, which made me think it might be the sort of film that Danny Boyle would have made had he been bought up in LA and played a shed load of video games. One thing’s for sure, If I ever get injected with a Chinese synthetic, I’ll just slip ‘Crank’ into my DVD player.
Ridiculous, but brilliant.
I wanted to like this film, I really did. I’m just about the only person I know who enjoyed ‘The Transporter’ particularly for it’s fight scenes and how they made Statham look like he could jump 15ft in the air without strings. However when Crank has the chance to display such a beat down it skips right over it (like the scene where he hits the gang members) and jumps into the next scene where they are shooting guns at each other. This happens on more than one occasion. I’ll give the movie the credit it deserves for the out there display of adrenaline, but the lack of hardcore fighting really blew it for me.
Ferg, I’m glad to hear you liked this movie. It’s been sitting in a red netflix envelope on my coffee table for the past few days, but I’ve been too busy to watch it. Most people I’ve talked to thought the plot was too cheesy to waste their time on, but I think it’s cheesiness is it’s brilliance. I’m definitely going to watch it this weekend.
Waffles you aren’t alone, I love the Transporter for the fight and action scenes, Trasnporter 2 was far too ridiculous on the car side but the fights were just as excellent. Statham should be the next action hero.
I loved Crank though, and I think it’s all to do with how you go into the cinema and what you go in with. Not food, I mean expectations. Over the top fun and action and as much non-standard Hollywood stuff as they can throw at the film. I loved it, and Statham always brings something great to a film. It’s about time he was given some more kudos. He’s acting next to Jet Li next and for the second time!
Sorry guys but Crank sounds about as appealing as bathing in manure. As for Jason Statham, I’d be pushed to think of a single film he’s been in that should ever have received the green light. ‘Lock stock’s… ‘ success was a travesty (Just look at Guy Ritchie’s subsequent output!) bringing to mind a TV Movie made specifically for Loaded readers.